


Words I cannot Say

by cleacourgette



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 01:52:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14438943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleacourgette/pseuds/cleacourgette
Summary: Shikamaru prided himself a lot. After the failure with the retrieval of Sasuke, after she poke fun at him for being so fragile, he promised he’d take matters to his hands, he promised he wouldn’t back down anymore and strike to do better. So she was sure he was going to try and do something stupid.





	Words I cannot Say

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been a fan of Naruto for the longest time in my life, and I never wrote a fanfic of my favorite ship in it, not even once. 
> 
> So, due to recent events, my passion about this couple as returned and with it I thought, why not make a fanfic? 
> 
> So here it is. Its pretty long but its a one shot. I hope you like it.

Teal eyes rise from the scribbled paper with a message from Konoha, to meet her brother’s deep green eyes. Worry and concern marked by little wrinkles around her eyebrows and eyes. The scariest kunoichi, with a reputation for being merciless, felt a spark of compassion on her heart the moment she read that paper. She was equipped and ready to leave her village in a quick documents delivery mission that Gaara had placed on her hands. But right when she was all ready and set, she was called again to his office, in order to warn her of what had just happen, to make sure she’d be careful on her journey to Konoha.

“Sarutobi Asuma… this is… this is Shikamaru’s teacher.” She spoke, feeling her mouth dry, as her chest had that annoying little ache, growing more.

“Yes.” Gaara knew very well who Shikamaru was, as well as Asuma. “And from the message it seems like Shikamaru was in this mission as well, but only Asuma died.”

“Shit…” She whispered to herself. Things were bad, not too long ago their village was attacked by the Akatsuki, and they nearly lost Gaara and Kankuro in the process. Now they attacked members of Konoha, and for all she knows even Shikamaru might be injured.

Her first thought was his pride.

Shikamaru prided himself a lot. After the failure with the retrieval of Sasuke, after she poke fun at him for being so fragile, he promised he’d take matters to his hands, he promised he wouldn’t back down anymore and strike to do better. So she was sure he was going to try and do something stupid.

“I want you to go, discretely, and as careful as you can, and immediately come back to Suna.” Gaara appealed to her. It was dangerous to send his sister alone, considering the Akatsuki members were attacking merciless, be it jinchuurikis or not. “I don’t want to send anyone with you either because it might draw too much attention so…”

Temari was still lost in her thoughts; it went from thoughts about the young man’s pride, to how worthless he probably feels, to how dry of tears he must be by now. Thinking so tenderly about him, what was she even doing?

“Yes!” She was looking back at the Kazekage again—no, right now she was looking at his brother Gaara, who carried a small fraction of a worried expression, but just enough for her to understand it and smile, chest filled with joy. “I’ll be fine! You can count on me to deliver these documents, I’ll just go, deliver and be back.” Her gloved hand presses and squeezes the pale Kazekage’s hand for a second before the stands up with a thought on her mind. She was not only delivering the documents, she was also delivering something else of her own.

Just as instructed, Temari was careful all the way to konoha. Bright sunny day turned dark blueish night, it was a peaceful walk with no trouble at all. She passed by strangers, making the same journeys by foot. The path turned from sandy to earthy, the distance between Suna and Konoha seemed smaller every time, she was eager to return to the green land every time she walked by the gates. But this time, there was uncertainty, she had a growing feeling pressing her heart down to her stomach, with each step she took, and when she could already see the hidden buildings and civilization through the green leafs, her stomach was giving in. She was nervous, the feeling of growing butterflies on her belly, the ache in her heart. She took a deep breath, looking forward with her terrifying expression, whispering to herself. “Snap out of it Temari.” 

“I’m sorry for making you come all the way from suna for these.” The imposing figure of the fifth Hokage, sat behind her desk, it was much of a familiar vision of what she had at home, but instead of a gorgeous female ninja, she had her smaller and younger baby brother. Temari reached with her hand to her moth, curling her fingers only to press them lightly in a polite gesture to the older woman in front of her. 

Tsunade was without a doubt, someone she admired as a kunoichi. She made it to hokage, and she was a legend in the world of ninjas. She heard distant stories about the great 3 sanin, until one of them managed to manipulate her father. Though, Tsunade was definitely different from Orochimaru, she was someone to look up to.

“It’s no trouble at all.” Temari said, bowing her head a little bit. The older Kunoichi had Shizune pick up all the documents in order to take them to the lab and analyze them.

“Going back to Suna already?” Tsunade rest her head on her hand, and her elbow on the table, tapping on some of the various papers over the desk, Temari picked that spot exactly to look at, imagining she was probably as busy as Gaara when it came to all that paper work, ministry work, laws, people’s wishes, the council, the other villages, really there was no stopping. It was no wonder the woman looked like she hardly slept that night.

“Ah, yes, I only have a little errand of my own I’d like to attend, but after that I’m leaving. Gaara needs my help back in the village, I can’t be far from home for too long.”

“I understand.” The hokage sighed, envious that the young Kazekage had actually concerned and helpful siblings doing their best for their brother and Kazegake. “Well, make yourself comfortable for as long as you want, the village might be a little chaotic from the recent events… but you might still be able to be perfectly comfortable around the village.” 

Temari paused for a moment. Right, Shikamaru’s teacher was someone very important after all, the whole village knew who he was, her expression changed, and Tsunade noticed. “Right. I’m sorry for what happen. Know that if you ever need, Suna is a reliable ally.” Spoken from the aching heart, hoping it would somehow help heal anything that was hurting on that village.

“Of course! And please tell the kazegake we really appreciate this risky trip to deliver the documents. Stay as long as you want.”

They parted. And as soon as Temari closed the door of the hokage’s office behind her, her heart was aching again, her stomach throwing the same fit as before. The thought of her little personal errand was ruining her for some reason.

Actually now that she was walking down the streets of konoha, in the direction of the Nara residence, she gave it a few moments to think about what she was doing. She didn’t even have a plan. What was she going to do? Knock on the door, look at Shikamaru’s disgraceful face, and then what?

A long time ago, when both of them were still but children, they sat across from each other on the hospital corridor, she knew exactly what to do and say to him. Suck it up crybaby, you’re a ninja, you have to keep moving forward. But he grew, things changed, even though he still had his constant moaning and complaining about how life was troublesome, this time it was different. Shikamaru was older and fortunately learned from his first lesson, he was smart after all, he had that going for him. Lazy, but smart. She supposed he would take things differently this time, not to mention, last time no one died.

Then what was she going to do?

Knock on the door and say how sorry she was that his teacher died, especially so in a mission with him as well? Or maybe nag him for doing nothing, for being an idiot? A loss was a loss and no words could fix that. She knew what a loss was; she felt those all through her life. She didn’t even know what to do from here on.

Lost in her thoughts she reached the door of the Nara residence without even realizing. What once was a confusing village to walk around in, how now easy to walk about. She grew so used to it from her various trips that she knew exactly the places, the streets and the people. It was a warm welcoming village that was clearly now going through a major loss.

The door of the residence was right in front of her eyes, she admired it for a moment before forming a fist with her hand, closing the distance between her and the door a bit more, she almost knocked on it, but then got cold feet.

He wasn’t a boy anymore, and she was probably the last person he wanted to see after what happen, she had no business being there anyway, she should be the adult one and turn around to go home. Gaara and Kankuro were waiting for her.

“Oh! If it isn’t the sand princess!”

The deep voice pierced her thoughts, bursting the haze in which she was moments ago. She relaxed too much, she slack and now someone was taking advantage of that. When she turned around to see who it was, she was greeted with a too familiar face.

A long spiked ponytail was the first feature that jumped out at her, earrings shinning under the light posts of that night, and a smug, a smug particularly identical to his son’s. The only difference between that face and Shikamaru’s were a few scars across the skin and a goatee. That was Shikaku, the head of the Nara family and Shikamaru’s dad.

“Ah—“ Temari didn’t even have time to react, Shikaku was merciless, even more than she was, and continued quickly.

“I thought I saw someone admiring the door of my house, but I didn’t expect it to be you, miss.” His voice was deeper than Shikamaru’s. His attitude certainly different, even though every word was spoke with a smug, just like Shikamaru. Somehow he managed to be charming actually. “Are you looking for Shikamaru?”

There it was, another thing that both father and son shared to be identical, the sharpness and intelligence, the capacity to analyze the situation within seconds. What did she expect, anyway? She would certainly not be there for Shikaku or his wife, and considering the situation at hands, she had more than a reason to be there.

“Right.” She sighed looking down at a spot on the floor, defeated, not even trying to come up with an excuse, her motive to be there was simple anyway. “I heard what happen and I came to check on him.” There was no point in lying specially not face to someone who was probably a far better strategist than his son. No matter how good and bright she was, she was still losing to Shikamaru, and would lose far more face to Shikaku. “Just making sure he isn’t sulking like the cry baby he is.”

“Ah! Thank you for taking an interest in my dumb son.” Shikaku replied to the teasing sand kunoichi. Walking past her, he reached for the door, opening it and making a way for Temari to walk in. But she didn’t move. It’s not like she was taking an interest in his dumb son, she just… “He’s not home. Or in the village. He’s out on a mission, but you might want to come in and talk it over a tea.”

He was on a mission? That was odd. That was unlike him, to so soon after a tragedy be in a mission again. Maybe he wanted to clear his mind with an easy far away mission, or maybe—she became weary, and it sure peeked her interest. Not so much for the tea and cookies, but the way Shikaku was talking just now was making her both curious and worried.

Her eyebrows pressed, and she exhaled. It was not her business, and she did have to go back home. “I’m sorry, my brothers are waiting for me.” She raised a hand and dipped her head down a little, in a bow, politely refusing.

“It won’t take too long. Besides, you might want to eat something before you leave. Come, I’ll prepare something while I tell you about his mission. You really want to know about it. He insisted and she knew immediately that whatever that mission was, it was both dangerous, and important.

The image that Temari had on her head about Shikaku was engraved about that day at the hospital. An imposing man, the spitting image of Shikamaru, except broader and mature. She even felt sorry for Shikamaru when his dad brought him to reason like that. The yell still echoed in her memories “You god damned coward.” Now, that image was changing, realizing that Shikaku was far a better person than she could have anticipated.

A smile covered her lips. “Fine, if you insist so much, but it will have to be brief, my brothers will be worried if I don’t go back to suna immediately.”

The house was well kept and tidy, on the walls, prints and ancient paintings of what it seemed to be the family’s symbol. The deer. It was only fitting considering the name Shika ran in the family.

Shikaku took the blond kunoichi to the back to the house, an outside area where he and Shikamaru would often play shogi. “Wife’s not home, she took some days off to visit her mother. She’s worried too.”

Worried?

“Here, make yourself comfortable.” The older man said, showing her to the exact spot where a table of shogi was comfortably set between two pillows. “The tea won’t take long.” He disappeared, leaving Temari alone to admire the garden in the dark. First she looked at the light of the moon against the flailing leafs, shaking a little in the wind. Then she pressed her palms together, realizing where exactly she was. That was Shikamaru’s house. Where he eats, where he spends time resting, and where he sleeps. The girl had the same nauseating feeling against at the pit of her stomach and the ache on her heart. When she turned her head a little, to shake that feeling away, she noticed the table at her feet, and the pieces of shogi, out of their respective place. It looked like a game half way, she kneeled over the pillow and traced her fingers over one of the pieces of shogi. The pawn.

“Oh? Do you also know how to play shogi?” She was startled, again. That man was really silent and cunning to her. She’d have to remain on guard around him.

“A little.” She replied, raising her fingers from the board.

“Yeah, I expected a bright girl like you to know how to play shogi. Your fight in the chunnin exams with Shikamaru was impressive.” He sat down on the other side of the little table, placing the tray with two cups and a container with the tea, as well as a plate with various snacks, which Temari had to admit, looked delicious.

But when he spoke those words, she couldn’t contain a blush. She was being recognized for that fight, as well as how she realized that that time at the hospital obviously wasn’t the first time Shikaku saw her, but the chunnin exams.

“I still lost. I want a rematch actually. I know I could beat him now.” That sentence alone was enough to make a chuckle burst from Shikaku’s mouth. It surprised her, watching him so lively laugh, she couldn’t understand where it was funny.

“I know you could beat him up easily, my dear. You have a little something special about you, capable of beating him up.” She quirked one eyebrow, glancing at him with a face more confused than before. She still couldn’t figure out if he was just as dumb as his son, or was just making fun of her. “Anyway.” He continued, reached for the water container, spilling some tea on both cups, one after another, with an artcraft of someone who actually mastered it.

Her expression turned serious, she knew what was about to come now. Shikamaru’s mission. It might even provide some important in tell for her village.

“Shikamaru’s gone after the Akatsukis who murdered Asuma. He went to seek for revenge.”

Her eyes shot open, and the once calm but serious expression of hers, was now an expression of horror. That dumbass. He had no chance. Both his brothers were so easily defeated byt the Akatsuki, and Asuma also perished in their hands, so why did he think he could stand a chance? And why was his father so calm knowing all this?

“That idiot!” Temari threw the words out as if she was containing her breath for a long time. The ache was back. Maybe this was it. She had a bad feeling all this time, just like she had a bad feeling when his brothers were attacked, and that bad feeling carried a weighted heart and a stomach impossible to control. She formed a fist with her hand, keeping it on her lap. Shikaku was holding the cup with her tea, reaching closer to her.

“I wasn’t against it.” He completed, waiting her for to notice the cup, and to notice the reason why he was telling her all this.

Temari of course raised her eyes towards the man, ignoring the cup with the tea, instead she took a deep breath, her chest raising, her eyebrows furrowed, and her fist opening to slam against the shogi table. “How so? It’s far too dangerous! My brothers nearly lost their lives against those people! And why—why couldn’t he just asked for help, I knew it, I knew he was going to be doing something stupid, and be too proud to ask for help!”

Shikaku smiled. He was relaxed, watching her fuss over every little thing about his boy’s decision. Just like his wife would be to him. He was sure now. If before he only thought they fancied each other, now he was sure of it. The girl had a liking to Shikamaru, she was worried. And that moment he knew his boy would be fine, as long as that girl never left his side.

“He wasn’t alone.” He reassured the girl, raising calmly the cup in her direction. Temari was still too fussy, but regardless, she took the cup, still furrowing her brows, expecting Shikaku to enlighten her. “He was with Ino and Chouji. He’ll be fine. He’s not so stupid to endanger himself like that if he didn’t know what he was doing. There’s still a lot he has to do, a promise to keep. So he’ll have to be back. Anyway, the fifth already sent a rescue team after them, only a little bit of help in case things go sour.”

Temari’s head dropped down, her eyes found the piece with the engraving Pawn again over the shougi table. She couldn’t quiet down her heart still, there was a lot of uncertainty. No matter how smart Shikamaru was, he was still weaker than her when it came to physical strength. His option would run out, he would run out of chakra he—

“Temari.” The daze she was in was interrupted, and she looked up at a voice that, on that moment, almost sounded like Shikamaru’s. “There are some things that a man needs to do by himself. He doesn’t think you’re weak, he doesn’t underestimate you. But this was his business and his business alone. And sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” Her heart quiet down a little, she understood perfectly what he meant. 

“I guess it was just wishful thinking.” She said, looking back at the older man. “I expected him to count on me and rely on me more than this. So it pisses me off when he doesn’t.” She was calmer now, the warm sensation of the cup between her hands, also helped to it. To sooth her down. “But I really can’t blame him.”

It became clear for her. Shikamaru wasn’t just an acquaintance and someone she had to work with as a liaison between Konoha and Suna. He was her friend, a very dear friend. It was a sort of connection she really wasn’t used to have, the only tight relations she had in her life was her family, so dear to her. But Shikamaru slowly earned a place in her heart, as a dear friend.

“I still expect you to call him to reason when needed. He really needs someone to keep him on his feet and from what I’ve seen, you’ve got the guts for it.” Another smug. It was embarrassing to hear his father ask her to do that, but she knew exactly she was one of the only people who Shikamaru listened to. And his consideration for her, was something that fit well with her ego. She smiled back the the man, taking the cup to her lips, tasting the sweetness in the liquid.

“I guess someone has to do it.” She snarkly said, both to make herself feel better and to let Shikaku know that she wasn’t going to let Shikamaru off easily ever. “Say...” She shyly said, suddenly finding the cup between her hands extremely fascinating. “Could you... not tell him I was here today?” There was an obvious hint of red over her olive skin, right around the cheeks and ears. Shikaku felt nothing more than satisfaction, so he complied. 

“Of course, Sand princess.”


End file.
